CERTIFIED
UPSELL
REFUSER
UPSELL
REFUSER
Field Notes From The Shop Floor
"Nothing like a nice free morning coffee and newspaper at Mr lube"
"Make sure they remember to top up your blinker fluid"
"I said no to all the bullshit they tried to upsell me on. Just smiling and drinking my coffee knowing I'm not one of the customers they make money off of."
"Sorry it's just be a standard oil change plus all my free shit today sir. Hope you're in the green on your next customer, have a great day."
The Free-Stuff Profit Engine
Input the value of all complimentary assets extracted during a standard oil-change engagement:
Your current projected alpha profit: $0.00
Premium Seminar: 108 Payments Of 9 Cents
For serious practitioners only. Johnny the Oil Guru reveals advanced techniques including:
- How to say "no" while maintaining calm dealership eye contact.
- How to identify fake discounts before the service writer blinks.
- How obligatory tipping still keeps you mathematically in the black.
$9.72 total*
*Paid as 108 easy payments of $0.09 + obligatory tipping + destiny.